Afraid of the Dark (and the Light)

A Prayer I penned recently:

I am so afraid of my weakness

Afraid that in some moment

Blinded by lust

Gripped by a craving to be noticed

Threatened with truth’s consequences

Squeezed toward conformity

Allured by the fleeting

Seduced by comfort

Fancying that I deceive God

I will deceive myself

Neglect the carefully nurtured shoots of

transformation

Trampling them in clumsy haste

And be destroyed by my sin

I am so afraid of my strength

Which comes through brokenness

Dying to myself to find his life

Surrendering security for hope

Trusting a God known to wound

Forsaking recognition for obscurity

Neglecting comfort for compassion

Clearing out my dearest idols

My appetites will scream with longing

Subordinated to loving worship

My ego will scowl indignantly

Bruised, crushed, nailed to the cross

But I will be satisfied with the life of the Divine